April 13th - Meditation is probably somewhat different for everyone. For me, I know that life gets me very confused, though I'm generally not aware of it. Coming from that space, even meditation is confusing, though I'm not aware of it. Ideas often dominate. When I finally get closer to a true understanding, what I realize is that it's not about any noble, far off, "enlightened" state of being. That's just the ego's way of romanticizing it. It's really extremely simple. It's just about becoming one with yourself - your real nature. As this communion grows subtler and subtler, then eventually you come to the awareness that you are divine - you are Christ. You are Buddha. For real.

We all are. To know this just means to let go the diversions and interests that are occupying our minds all the time. When we unite with this divine state, it is beautiful. Nothing else can compare. But even after such a communion, the mind, a crazy monkey, will leave you clueless in a flash.

Prayer and meditation are two ways to keep close.

Peace is very near by, but to be perfectly honest, this all seems too serious. I just want to slack off and have some fun! :) I guess when you reach the state where the faith of what lies within overpowers the desires for worldly delights, that's when you're ready to surrender. In other words, I still have a big fat ego. I'm just a beginner on this walk toward peace. Really, just a beginner.